Disagreements will occur in most any relationship of substance be it personal or professional. What great partnership has not had its share of conflict?
Those disagreements and how they are resolved will continually establish the boundaries and substance of the relationship. In order to achieve resolution in such disagreements we can do one of three things.
We can do nothing, the old silent treatment, which usually results in little or no progress and potential resentment on at least one side.
Or, we can choose to argue and we all know how productive that is.
Better yet, we can choose what’s behind door number three.A simple word but a difficult discipline...tact.
Tact will resolve most differences and avoid those dreaded arguments almost every time. Some people are born with a certain amount of tact but most of us had to learn tact literally from the ground up because our first experience with tactlessness on the playground usually resulted in being knocked to the ground. From that point on, we learn. Now…..we learn more!
Tact-is defined in the Encarta Dictionary as... skill in situations in which the other people’s feeling have to be considered.
It has been said that tact is “the ability to make a point without making an enemy.” In the words of Abraham Lincoln…”Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.”
Tact requires full understanding and application of the golden rule plus one. Treating others as you would yourself is great but tact also requires a subtle ability to treat them as they want to be treated, not necessarily how you like being treated. And yes, there is a big difference!
Probably the fastest means of developing and improving upon your tact starts with respect. Respecting others, their opinions and their idiosyncrasies will instantly make a person more tactful and improve their relationships. The other element of tact is embedded in one of the oldest adages of all time.
If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all!
Or in the less tactful words of poet Oliver Herford…”tact is the ability to lie about others as you would have them lie about you.”
And while we all know that lying is wrong, the tactful ability to sometimes avoid saying everything that is on your mind is a “relationship lubricant” like no other!